My Journey to Creating From the Heart
About 8 years ago, social media started to become really toxic in my life. It brought on some severe anxiety, caused extreme distraction, and sparked feelings of jealousy and resentment. Thus, I deleted everything. Maybe it's because I’m an empath, maybe it's because social media is really just plain toxic. Whatever the reason, I said “Bye, Bye, Bye!” (insert NSYNC nostalgia here) to twitter, Instagram, and snapchat. I did keep Facebook, as many people do, for family things and Facebook groups that were used for courses I have taken over the years. But believe me when I tell you, I hardly even use that.
Now, I feel like it's time to come back into the world of social media for two reasons:
If I want to start a heart based business, then social media is an unavoidable, super amazing gateway of connecting with people.
I am answering the call and showing up to be the media I want to see in this world, instead of shying away from it and letting it get the better of me.
I created From the Heart to share my very own healing stories, the lessons I have learned and continue to learn, and the content that makes my heart sing! My intention for these writings, videos, meditations, graphics, yoga sequences, and other services, is to connect, inspire, teach, and empower you to show up as the best version of yourself, provide you some tools to help you along the way, and let you know that you’re not alone in this journey!
I’d be lying if I said that getting to this point was easy. It has taken a lot of changes, growth, and healing to get to this place.
I came up with the idea to start From the Heart after a really intense meditation around my birthday this year. My birthday is January 21st (hayy my fellow Aquarii!!), so this happened pretty early in the year. If you’re asking, “What has taken you so long?”, I’m about to tell ya.
Firstly, for those of you familiar with the Doshas of Ayurveda- I am a Vata-Pitta. Not only that, I am an Aquarius- my element is air. My brain moves so. Incredibly. Fast. I have about a million ideas all the time that sometimes, just don’t end up getting attention. This however, was different. I gave this a lot of attention, but it just never really felt right, until now.
At first, I had the idea of starting a mathematics YouTube channel- sharing content on 6-12+ mathematics, yoga flows for students, and meditations to clear the mind. I wanted to share my experience and wisdom to better educate the masses on a misunderstood topic, while also giving students the tools to rise above the stress of it all. I am a mathematics teacher by trade, so combining all my passions felt really natural to me. However, this idea was too vast, and usually left my head spinning after a brainstorming session. As time went on, it became apparent that I had to focus on one thing: my love for all things spirituality. There were SO many iterations of this idea, but finally, something had landed!
So, if you ever find yourself in the same position- wanting to start something new but not sure what or how- just keep with it. The idea will keep getting refined to what suits you, your needs, and the needs of humanity. It's all part of the journey! Dedication is key!!
Besides the extreme vastness of my first idea, there was another major obstacle in my way: good ol’ self doubt. I think I even included mathematics in the first place because it felt safe. I was confident in my ability to teach mathematics, but not so confident in my ability to teach the spiritual information I have dedicated the last 9 years of my life learning. It didn’t matter that every time I shared this idea with others that they praised me, told me I’d kick ass, and to do it up- the bottom line was that I didn’t believe it.
In one of my doctoral mathematics education classes (not related to anything spirituality), an alumni from the college came to give a talk on finding a job as a mathematics professor. She was so candid, spilling her guts to a class of students whom she didn’t know. Yet in listening to her story, one message was very clear: in order to secure a job, she needed to overcome imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome, or perceived fraudulence, is defined as “the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills.” It “involves feelings of self-doubt and personal incompetence that persist despite your education, experience, and accomplishments.”
Before that moment in time, I had never heard of imposter syndrome. But once I heard the term and understood what it meant, chills were sent all over my skin and I realized, for the first time, I too suffered from imposter syndrome. Anyone else?!
With a lot of hard work and dedication (there that word is again!) I was able to get to the place I am today. Hours and hours of journaling, meditation, yoga, and coaching have all led me to this place of knowing that I have the power, knowledge, and experience to tell my story and share what I know and continue to learn. Ultimately, I have learned to believe in my capacity to co-create the life I want by following my heart's deepest desires.
Yet, overcoming self- doubt is such an interesting thing. I honestly don’t think it ever goes away entirely. That little doubt gremlin still pops up from time to time to say “Hey! Remember me?!”. However, the difference now is that I know how to combat it. I acknowledge it, and then turn to the practices that remind me that doubt is a defense- protecting me from what I feared most: failure.
Deepak Chopra got it right when he said, “Don't regret the past or fear the future. Both bring misery through self-doubt.”
I write this introductory post to let you know that you too, can overcome self-doubt. You too, can step into your power and create the life you’ve always wanted. Your hopes and dreams are never far out of reach.
I encourage you to sit with my story if it resonates with you, journal about it, or go on a walk and meditate on it. Find the practice that grounds you in yourself and then ask, "Do I experience imposter syndrome? If so, what is at the core of my self-doubt? What am I afraid of? What is the story that I have created that keeps me where I am, and held back from what I want to become?"
As I finish writing this post, I look over to my phone to see a notification from my astrology app: “Again and again, your spirit has the ability to bring good into the world”. Just more validation that this is the work I am here to do :)
“Acting as if you were what you want to become and know you can become is the way to remove self-doubt and enter your real-magic kingdom.” - Dr. Wayne Dyer
With all the love and light in my heart,
Stephanie