Ahh, it feels so good to be back.
Back to writing.
Back to the work that exists outside of myself.
For the last month or so, I was called to quiet. To do a lot of internal work. To give myself space to integrate all the new experiences and lessons I had learned throughout this year.
2021 was truly a beautiful year of breaking the cycles in my life that no longer served. I took leaps of faith that went against old beliefs, stood up for myself when I would normally comply, and made choices that allowed me to step further into the truest version of myself.
I dropped some habits and committed to better ones. I moved for the 3rd time in two years, which allowed me to cultivate some of my most sacred spaces. I quit my job to go to school full time, which really created the space for me to land a competitive internship, sign up for a soul school that would change my life forever, and start FTH, a conscious decision that allowed my voice to be heard. I lost some people, but also gained amazing new relationships. I learned some hard truths about the people closest to me, which was difficult, but created the space for me to see relationships for the true mirrors that they are.
I took a new form of accountability. I committed to a daily practice for myself and for all the people in my life. One of the most profound ways that we can make change is starting within. 2021 taught me a lot about who I thought I was- tore that away- and then showed me who I really was. Stephanie, from her heart. And in 2022, I choose to embody her.
Through this space that I have taken- may it be from teaching full-time, from relationships in my life, or from something as small as not blogging in this last month- I created the space that was needed for my growth.
I know I talk about this a lot, but slowing down and surrendering have been my greatest teachers this year. If I hadn’t slowed down, if I hadn’t surrendered to my intuition, emotions, and physical body’s needs, the space I needed to grow and gain clarity would not have been taken. I wouldn’t be who I am at this moment.
So I ask you- where do you need to slow down in your life, to take the space you need to grow and gain clarity?
Sometimes, it takes some space to see things clearly.
Consider an argument with a loved one- in that moment it feels intense, right? Maybe anger, fear, judgment, or sadness settles in and the situation becomes overwhelming and hard to handle. So, what do you do? Maybe you continue arguing for a bit longer, but ultimately, you probably take some space. Through this space, it is only then that the dust begins to settle and you begin to see more clearly. Only then can you begin to understand the larger picture.
While taking space in an argument, for example, often feels natural to me, taking space in other areas of my life that were intense and overwhelming never felt that easy.
Using work as an example: If I even thought for a split second about taking a leave of absence from teaching or even, or dare I say it, quitting- I was sent into a spiral of fear and guilt. Fears about not making enough money. Fears about not landing another job. Guilt over leaving my co-workers. Guilt for leaving a class of kids I didn’t even know yet (weird, I know, but I loved my job and the kiddos that much).
However, one day, it was all just too much. I realized I was out of alignment in this profession and something needed to change. Year after year I did the same things. I felt the same way. Year after year I told myself it would be different- yet, it never was.
So I made a decision- I left.
Not only did this decision help me to gain clarity about my relationship with work, it uncovered underlying beliefs, fears, and cyclic behavior that needed surfacing to be cleared away. Was it always easy? Certainly not. Was it worth it? Absolutely.
Sometimes, if you don't walk away, the dust won't settle. You’ll be squinting through clouds of fine particles made of God knows what because you keep running around in the sand in circles, perpetuating cycles that no longer serve you.
What cycles in your life need breaking?
Take the time and space you need to gain clarity from whatever it is that’s surfacing for you while you read this.
I’m not suggesting the only option is to leave a job that doesn’t serve you, especially if you aren’t able to do so. However, what I am suggesting is that you find ways to take space. If it is work, maybe you start by leaving work at work. If it's a relationship, maybe you find ways to prioritize yourself and your needs more often so that you understand clearly what you want.
Whatever it is, try to find small ways to cultivate a slower pace and a little bit more space.
Sometimes all we need is a little perspective change. Sometimes we need something a little more drastic.
Dig deep. Think about it. Break the cycle.
Also, if I learned anything from 2021, it was that this work does not have to happen alone. Yes, there are things I keep to myself because they are not meant for everyone else, but that doesn’t mean it all has to be kept to myself.
In this life we learn through relationships. Through community. Through connection. By holding space for one another and talking through things so we can constantly evolve into the next, higher version of us.
Find your tribe. Your person. Your people. Your mentor.
If they aren’t in your life yet, manifest them. They’ll show up when the timing is right.
Just know that you are never ever alone.
If you are looking to do some work around space taking and cycle breaking, here are some journaling prompts to help you uncover what it is that needs your attention:
Where in my life does there seem to be tension, resistance, and/or overwhelm? What other emotions come up around this situation that are unsettling?
Is this situation cyclic? How do I know?
What is at the core of this situation that is provoking these feelings within me?
If I wanted to slow down and take some space from this in a way that would prioritize my needs, what would that look like? Feel like? Sound like?
Who in my life can I talk to about this, that will hear me and help me take actionable steps towards my best outcome?
The initial purpose of this post was to share a really exciting announcement! But as always, spirit guides me to whatever the message needs to be.
Here it is!
I am so beyond grateful and feel blessed to tell you all that about two weeks ago, I graduated from a 7 month healing academy!! This program taught me more than I could ever express in one blog post, but provided me with three certifications that will inform my offerings for 2022: sacred space clearings, numerology, and Reiki 1!
I am now a Reiki practitioner, a numerologist, and am certified to energetically clear homes and businesses. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! Sometimes I have to pinch myself. This is something I have wanted for a long time. About 9 years to be exact- which now as a numerologist, makes total sense ;)
In the coming days, I will be updating this site to include some new offerings for 2022! Keep your eyes peeled!
I look forward to the potential of working with whomever feels drawn to my work :)
With all the love and light in my heart,